I am reading a book called “Becoming a person of influence” and it is really good. Here’s a quote I just read from there, out of many memorable ones.

“Praise me and I may not believe you.

Criticize me and I may not like you.

Ignore me and I may never forgive you.

Encourage me and I will never forget you.”

I’ve got a new list of quotes to share. I think quotes are really inspiring, once one hits you, it hits you, and it stays.

Here are the ones that hit me. Some like a hurricane, and some like a gentler breeze.

“How wonderful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward.”

“Successful people have simply formed the habit of doing things that unsucessful people will not do. They do not necessarily like to do things that unsuccessful people will not do.”

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.”

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time, it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.”

“Learn to say ‘no’ to the good, so you can say ‘yes’ to the best.”

“You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”

“Losers visualise the penalties of failure, winners visualise the rewards of success.”

“It is only as we develop others that we permanently succeed.”

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.”

“Pay now, play later; play now, pay later.”

“Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.”

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up.”

“They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.”

“Optimists are right. So are pessimists. It’s up to you to choose which you will be.”

“First, we form habits, then our habits form us. Conquer your bad habits or they’ll eventually conquer you.”

“It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.”

People say money can’t buy happiness.

True to a certain extent, but in many instances, I beg to differ.

What, really, is happiness?

 Is it…

…spending all the time in the world with the people that you love?

…being satisfied with one’s life just the way it is?

…being able to do all the things one wants to do?

…being able to enjoy the ‘little things in life’ as these things are commonly known?

…being able to be oneself and ‘dance like no one’s watching’, everywhere, and anywhere?

Or it could be…

…having all the things one had ever dreamed of.

…living a lavish, carefree life with no worries and no fears about where the next meal is coming from.

…learning how to appreciate the people around us.

…having no worries, no fears, no anxieties.

Now. That final point, I must say, is an inextricable part and parcel of life. Worries and anxieties are inevitable. But what we can do is virtually eliminate them in all means possible. Many families today face lots of financial worries, worries about how they’re going to raise their children and provide them with everything they want, how they’re going to support their families with the things that they have, how they want to give them so much more but do not possess the means available to them.

But I guess you all know what I’m getting at. There are intangible things to happiness that cannot be bought, yes. But for many of those things, to be generous, to give one’s family everything, to have a carefree life, to enjoy all the things one has ever wanted to do,…

 ….it all boils down to a simple sign.

$$$

Take generosity even. What does it take to be generous? It takes money. Yes, we can give time, we can volunteer, we can assist, but wouldn’t you agree that volunteerism Coupled with donations in $$$ would make a much better deal? And if one wanted to volunteer, wouldn’t one also want to help in other means possible?

It takes money.

It takes time.

And if we had both to spare…

…we could achieve things we had only seen in our dreams.

I’ve decided to expand my reality to fit my dreams.

I finished reading this book entitled “The Five Love Languages”. It’s really good, and has saved a lot of marriages.

 Basically, what it states is that each person has a primary love language, a certain way he/she wants to be treated, and if he/she is treated this way, then he/she will feel loved. (For convenience purposes, I will refer to he/she as she, and in the marriage context)

The five love languages are:

1) Words of Affirmation

2) Quality Time

3) Receiving gifts

4) Acts of service

5) Physical Touch

I’ll talk about each in turn. First, words of affirmation. If this is someone’s primary love language, then she needs to be assured by her husband, or praised when she did something well, eg. “You did great!” If she doesn’t hear these words from him over a long period of time, the love tank flows out and gradually becomes empty over time. (I think this is one of the easiest love languages to carry out because one can do it from far away, over the phone, through email, and not only in person). (unfortunately, it’s not my love language)

The second one. Quality time. If someone’s love language is quality time, then one would want their spouse to actively make time to spend together. (Quality time doesn’t equal two people sitting in front of the TV and talking offhandedly, more often it involves actually sitting down face to face and talking).

The third. Receiving gifts. I’m going to spend the most time talking about this one because I’ve realised that although the other love languages are important to me as well, this is the most important one. I like surprises, I like receiving gifts, and I’ve begun to realise through the years that receiving gifts makes me happy. I would imagine that receiving gifts makes anyone happy, no? But receiving gifts really makes me happy. BUT, BUT, only gifts which have been thought about and bought with the consideration that I would like it, not just a 5 minute decision off the shelf thoughtless kind of gift.

Towards the end of the book, it states that parents can also tell what a child’s love language is by the way they act. And that’s also how I realised that gifts is my love language. It says that as a child, if the child likes to wrap things up and give them to her parents, it’s a subconscious request for it to be reciprocated. And I do remember, as a child, I loved giving people presents. Birthday, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Christmas, etc. I would always give my parents or sisters something, whether made or bought, and would take the care in preparing it well.

 On my 21st birthday last year (OH NO 2 years ago), I received lots of gifts. And what made me Really happy was the fact that I liked all of them. It made me feel really loved to know that my friends/relatives actually made the effort to get out there and choose a gift that they thought I would really like. And they did. All of them did. It was one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had. And so, I have concluded, receiving gifts is my primary love language. Without it, I feel somewhat as though I wasn’t worth making the effort and significantly extra consideration for.

The fourth: Acts of Service. This basically means helping one’s spouse do things e.g. washing the dishes, mowing the garden, washing the clothes, cleaning the house etc. There was an example of this couple, in which the husband thought he was showing that he loved his wife because he did everything around the house; washed the dishes, cleaned the house, washed the clothes, etc. But their marriage was falling apart. And it was later discovered that it was because acts of service wasn’t the wife’s love language, it was quality time. And so, even though he was trying to show that he loved her by doing all those things, he should have actually channelled more energy into making time apart from household chores and spending extra time with her.

And the fifth: Physical Touch. This includes physical actions down to a simple pat on the back or hug. Many guys may seem to think that physical touch may be their love language, but after careful consideration, actually realise that this is not really their primary love language, perhaps just a secondary one. For example, even with physical touch, if there are no words of affirmation, for example, his love tank would still not be full.

 There. The Five Love Languages. Find out what your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend’s love language is and fulfil it, and relationships would be much, much better.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day.

 Yes, so it’s a commercialised day when all the florists jack up the flower prices and guys go all out to woo girls, but so what?? I still like V day.

But, that being said, I think V day is the Worst time to buy flowers. Partly because of the prices, but more significantly because I think flowers are the laziest gifts a guy can give a girl. Don’t know what to buy her (Or can’t be bothered to think of something)? Give her flowers.

 Now, it’s not that I don’t like flowers, I do, but if you’re willing to spend $150 on flowers on V-day, I’d rather you spend the $150 and a little extra time thinking of what else I would like, something that I can keep, and not something that’s going to die after 2 days, and go into the dustbin (I’m not that sentimental, when flowers die, they go straight into the dustbin, I don’t dry them and keep them between the pages of a book forever).

 Alright. I’ve said my piece on V day and flowers. On to V day and dinners.

Some restaurants jack up their prices on V day (some). But not all. Most people have the misconception that every single restaurant in Singapore increases its menu prices by 30% everytime V day comes along. But that’s just stupid. Oh, of course, they’ll have a V day set that they will promote and all, but many restaurants in fact don’t increase their prices at all on the traditional menu on the 14th of February. I know, because I’m not Completely a spoilt brat. I wouldn’t want someone to be spending an amount of money on me on V day that would buy us 3 meals (for both of us) on any other day.

I’m practical, but I’m still a spoilt girl.

And one with big dreams.

…renovating your house,

 You need a contractor. And i know one. Top notch work, reasonable prices (plus you can haggle for free gifts). Showflat available for viewing!

….buying a car,

You need a car salesman. I know one too. Top quality cars, rebates, financing to suit personal budgets (plus you can haggle for free gifts).

…holding an event (roadshow, wedding, bachelor party, 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 45th, 60th birthday party, corporate functions),

You need an Event company. And they’ll take care of all your logistics, down to the tinest detail. Signs, publicity, nitty gritty details, they’ll do it all.

Or an Emcee. (can haggle for discounts). Entertainment and professionalism guaranteed, but no guarantee against lame jokes. =p

…looking for professional performers,

You definitely wouldn’t want to miss acrobats and contortionists. Definite crowd pleasers.  Plus modern, hip hop, Korean, Multi-ethnic and multi cultural dances. Reasonable prices guaranteed.

 Ok those are all the people I know. For anyone who’s looking for any of the above, let me know!

Connections = Cheaper prices…

…and we all like cheaper prices. =)